-----
Every year we are given the chance to start anew, in hopes of becoming a better person and to lead a more fulfilling life. I wish you to have a prosperous new year!

Labels: new year

They say that jumping off a plane gives the same rush as falling in love. They're both deadly and the risk of losing yourself is so high, making the whole falling feeling a rewarding experience when you stand up alive.

Trust plays a big role in this whole love idea.

When we begin to trust, it is like tying a blindfold over our eyes and allowing the other person to hold the gun to our chest. It is a nerve-wracking experience that gives a fulfilling sensation when the trust is never broken. Quite an adrenalin rush. But what do you do when they pull the trigger? Part of you dies and it is quite impossible to ever trust again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in it for the whole falling in love thing. I guess the adrenalin rush makes me feel alive and the pain is part of the whole process.

-----
As most of you have noticed, I haven't been able to keep track of my food intake over the holidays. The new year should give me a good start.

Labels: falling, trust

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.

When he got there, Mrs. Clause was all up in his face and wouldn't let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sleigh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatend "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!"

At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?"

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

Labels: christmas

December 22




We finally had our barkada party at Misty's house and it was a fun night. All the girls wore dresses and many had on Santa hats throughout the night. I don't have a camera anymore so I wasn't able to take any pictures worth posting.




which reminds me..



Dear Santa, please give me a nice camera soon. I can wait.. Just not too long. Thank you.
















Misty decorated her place and fed us with her pre-birthday feast. I wasn't able to finish the food on my plate since I was already stuffed with the chips! Being assigned to help organize the party, I had to come up with games that would help in keeping my friends happy. When the others post their pictures, I will show them to you. Like I said, the party was fun but I couldn't rest just yet.

December 23

last

minute

Christmas

shopping.

GAH.

I didn't want to come home without gifts for my family so Dino and I (along with his siblings) hit the mall and shopping til we literally dropped. Our feet were aching and our wallets were empty, but we were happy. *smile*

Now, it's just a few more hours until my family celebrates this season at my gandma's house. I have to finish wrapping the rest of my gifts for the family.



I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas! It's the time of the year where you can feel like a kid again and enjoy time with your loved ones.

Labels: christmas

Wow. The last time I have been able to post was last week. Maybe that allows me to have this one unproductive day and not feel guilty about it. It was a pretty stressful week that caused me to stay late (more like, til morning) in the office and not file for overtime. Why you ask? Sometimes it's embarrassing to file for OT when I should be able to finish my work during the expected work hours. I dunno. It's not a just reason but it's the only one I can come up with.

Let's open my planner and try to recall what I've been doing this past week. Without my planner, I don't think I would be able to rely on my poor and beaten up memory. Tsk tsk.

Yes, I still jotted down all the (or most of) the food I have been eating. Hmmm, will get to that in a while. Let's jump dates.


Friday, 8

Printed stuff at Office Warehouse
Ended up cutting the invitations myself - my poor fingers.
*I tasted heaven

-----
L: ground beef and vegetables, lettuce wraps
S: yoh-gurt foz*
D: pasta


Saturday, 9

Met up with Ian today and we had a pretty good feast.

After which, the blood fairy paid me a visit and made my weekend unpleasantly emotional.

an excerpt from my journal

I hate this emotional roller-coaster
I hate feeling so vulnerable
It's like I have no shield to protect me

I am strong!
I should be
No more tears
they make me weak

I want you to listen

Gah. I can be surprisingly emotional.
Notice the rise in my food intake?
No internet.

-----
L: Chocolate Kiss Lasagna
S: Yoh-gurt foz, poptarts, chips
D: Lechon leftovers


Sunday, 10

was still vulnerable.

I tried to be numb.

-----
B: Pancake with syrup
L: Subway tuna melt, 2 chocolate chip cookies, rootbeer
S: Chippy, Nova

Monday, 11

2am: he knows me so well. he fixed everything, just like that. :)

buzzy buzzy bee. I stayed at the office til 12 with Charo.


-----
L: Lumpia
S: 1/2 slice Biko
D: cheeseburger with bacon



Tuesday, 12

was still tired. Maybe it showed because

the boss treated us to a foot spa at City Lifestyle. Whoo!!

-----
B: McHotcake Meal, Hasbrown, Coffee
S: 1/2 Banana Turon
D: Steak Sisig

Wednesday, 13

I almost threw up Ronald McDonald.

Stayed til 12am again. I'm getting so tired. I just wish that this party was over and done with already.

-----
B: McHotcake meal, Hashbrown, Coffee
L: McCheeseburger Meal
should be puking by now
D: juicy Cheeseburger with bacon

words for the night: Regurgitate and Burp!

Thursday, 14

Tad late for work again. The Christmas scrooge struck when I realized that I don't have any money to buy gifts for people this season. And here I thought that by working, I'd be able to earn more by the time Christmas came around.. Boy, did my bubble pop in my face!

Sometimes when you miss someone so much, you do impulsive things. I saw this pair of black havaianas in a store window and bought him a pair for no reason at all. And they fit him perfectly!

-----
B: Graham Crackers
L: Feast at LGV occular
D: pesto bread

Friday, 15

My Golden Apple Body Shop Body Butter!! I love the smell and it's not greasy. :) I've been eying this since I first saw it when December started. Now it's sitting nicely on my dresser and waits for me to take a shower every morning.



And who would have thought that these tiny creatures would find their way back into my palm?

I got my Tamagotchi V3 !! I'm giving one to my younger brother for Christmas (the only gift I've gotten so far) so I had an excuse to get one for myself so he has someone to play with. The Asian designs they had here weren't really that nice. I'm hoping I can find someone who's coming home in the next few months to pick me up a Tamagotchi V4 with a really great design. Yes, this is my current addiction that I can take with me anywhere.



Gee. 6 days till Christmas.


----------
The busiest time of the year

-----
B: pop-tart, banana
L: go go taco Caesar, chicken salad Caesar dressing
D: ground beef and lettuce wraps
-----

Let me tell you something. You know, when I sound concerned, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm concerned about me. So don't go and flip on me when I try to reason out with you. Sometimes you have to think of others as well! Don't be selfish, man!

-----
oh, grow up.

-----
L: Fried Rice, Sweet and Sour Pork, 2 strips Bacon
S: half a snickers bar
D: 5pcs chicken nuggets and McSpaghetti
-----

-----
B: 4 pcs kababayan bread muffin
L: Salad and Pork steak
D: Chinese. --will not disclose due to "Because-I-Can" reasons-- haha!
-----

oooh.. I can't wait. ;)

It's an hour to six.

He'll pick me up from the office.


<3

-----------
no dinner diet tonight

Talk about timing.

It isn't everyday that you get a letter from yourself a whole year ago. What I wrote to myself surprised me as if I knew exactly what to tell myself. Minus the little gasp I let out while opening my inbox, it was a pretty positive surprise. Unfortunately I can't shake it out of my head. Somehow it's stuck there like a cat in a high tree.

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Sunday, December 4, 2005, and sent via FutureMe.org)

Dear FutureMe,
By now you should have reached a certain goal in your life.. Ask yourself..

ARE YOU HAPPY?

Right now you are struggling to find something to make your life meaningful. have you found it yet?

you're struggling with your thesis now. look back and see if it made a difference in your life. and stop being so sentimental!!! :) hahaha!

love yourself

"It is in you i found freedom. Set me free."

Dont forget those who love you. You are celebrating your anniversary tomorrow with Dino. I hope it is special. :)

Exactly 1 year ago.

I SHOULD have reached a certain goal by now but most of them are little ones moving to bigger goals. One goal for sure is being updated daily, and that is my food intake to make sure I watch what I eat. But seriously, is that enough?

AM I HAPPY? I can't count the number of people who have asked me this question in the last 3 weeks. Who would have thought the three short words would make you stop and think about your current position in life. AM I HAPPY? Sure, everything is okay.. It's not depressing but it's not mesmerizing either. AM I HAPPY? Why, are you?

My thesis *laugh* The one thing I focused my whole year on. Yes I have seen the difference it has given impact to in my life. I have learned. The hundred plus pages of my dissertation helped me grow and realize that there ARE shortcuts in life that don’t have to be bad. Yes, I am proud of my thesis but I believe looking back at it now, one will never feel satisfaction. There is ALWAYS something better we could have done better. ALWAYS.

I do love myself. Do you?

and he still makes me feel free. :)

and I do feel loved.. sometimes. You can’t always feel loved. Ironically, too much love can send you to the looney bin. It can smother you and make you delusional. Love just enough to love yourself back.

and yes, we are celebrating another year together in a few hours. It’s weird how I passed by school today, where everything started between the two of us. The Christmas lights were up and the Paskuhan tree was lit. Every year, they light up to remind us how much we love each other.

-----------
and then I write myself again.

-----
L: 1 cup rice, adobo, 1/4 bowl pancit miso
S: 1 1/2 slice of butter cake and coke
D: 3 slices guava
-----

After that long tiring week, I decided that it was time to say goodbye to my stress and head for the spa. Luckily, a new one opened near the 7/11 in our area and was a 10 minute walk from my house. After I showered and dressed, I packed my book that my good friend Ian lent me ages ago, (the one by James Owen: Here, There be Dragons)

I finally got a good 3 hour read! The book has interesting characters and I couldn't help but analyze the illustrations in each chapter. I like Aven so far. She rocks.

The foot massage helped me relax while I sat in their big black soft chairs and sank into my imaginary world. The only dragons I've come across so far were the names of their boats. Boo. I will continue to read and hope that the travel will take me to more exciting places.

Pardon the photo. It's pretty raw and it was just taken from my handy camera phone. I HAD to capture the moment.

------------
I scolded myself today. No more lates and absents for the rest of the year!! shame on you.


[edit] I just realized.. I have no money left.. I haven't been able to save much for the holidays.. *sniff*

-----
B: pancake with syrup; 1 banana
L: 2 tacos ( lettuce, tomato, cheese, beef and hot sauce)
D: Plate of salad (same ingredients as last nights salad) and mini pork chop
-----

-----
B: 3pcs of bread
L: 1/2 cup rice, fish, guava slices, 1 pc pastel
D: i plate of salad with grapes and tomato(yummm)
-----

There used to be a popular site Friday Five that would post 5 things that you repost and answer on your blog. Unfortunately, they took it down last May 2004. *sad face* Alot of sites are dedicated to Friday blogs but I'm too lazy to search for a nice one. So instead, I decided to come up with my own 5 friday for today. Let's start with something simple. Suggestions are welcome!

Five Friday:
The five things I bought this week that meant something:

1. A High School Musical Lunch bag for my brother from McD. -- I originally wanted to buy it for myself, but I knew he would appreciate it more.
2. A pack of nerds -- the pink one (and i remembered paula!)
3. A tall Caramel Affogato -- I was able to donate my sticker to Kaye.
4. A pair of Mossimo jeans -- I finally got to trade in my Gift Certificate before it expired! It was a payment for Jam 88.3's paper bag design.
5. A roll of tissue -- The office is always out of tissue and it saved my day! hee. :)

-----
now, on with my work


-----
B: 1/2 ham sandwich
L: Skyflakes and hot tea
D: (@ peri peri chicken) 1/2 plate of ceasar salad, 1/2 chicken burger, sugar free fat free scoop of ice cream
Dd: tall Caramel Affogato
E: total of 15 minute brisk walk.
-----

-----
Every year we are given the chance to start anew, in hopes of becoming a better person and to lead a more fulfilling life. I wish you to have a prosperous new year!

Labels: new year

They say that jumping off a plane gives the same rush as falling in love. They're both deadly and the risk of losing yourself is so high, making the whole falling feeling a rewarding experience when you stand up alive.

Trust plays a big role in this whole love idea.

When we begin to trust, it is like tying a blindfold over our eyes and allowing the other person to hold the gun to our chest. It is a nerve-wracking experience that gives a fulfilling sensation when the trust is never broken. Quite an adrenalin rush. But what do you do when they pull the trigger? Part of you dies and it is quite impossible to ever trust again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in it for the whole falling in love thing. I guess the adrenalin rush makes me feel alive and the pain is part of the whole process.

-----
As most of you have noticed, I haven't been able to keep track of my food intake over the holidays. The new year should give me a good start.

Labels: falling, trust

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.

When he got there, Mrs. Clause was all up in his face and wouldn't let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sleigh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatend "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!"

At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?"

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

Labels: christmas

December 22




We finally had our barkada party at Misty's house and it was a fun night. All the girls wore dresses and many had on Santa hats throughout the night. I don't have a camera anymore so I wasn't able to take any pictures worth posting.




which reminds me..



Dear Santa, please give me a nice camera soon. I can wait.. Just not too long. Thank you.
















Misty decorated her place and fed us with her pre-birthday feast. I wasn't able to finish the food on my plate since I was already stuffed with the chips! Being assigned to help organize the party, I had to come up with games that would help in keeping my friends happy. When the others post their pictures, I will show them to you. Like I said, the party was fun but I couldn't rest just yet.

December 23

last

minute

Christmas

shopping.

GAH.

I didn't want to come home without gifts for my family so Dino and I (along with his siblings) hit the mall and shopping til we literally dropped. Our feet were aching and our wallets were empty, but we were happy. *smile*

Now, it's just a few more hours until my family celebrates this season at my gandma's house. I have to finish wrapping the rest of my gifts for the family.



I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas! It's the time of the year where you can feel like a kid again and enjoy time with your loved ones.

Labels: christmas

Wow. The last time I have been able to post was last week. Maybe that allows me to have this one unproductive day and not feel guilty about it. It was a pretty stressful week that caused me to stay late (more like, til morning) in the office and not file for overtime. Why you ask? Sometimes it's embarrassing to file for OT when I should be able to finish my work during the expected work hours. I dunno. It's not a just reason but it's the only one I can come up with.

Let's open my planner and try to recall what I've been doing this past week. Without my planner, I don't think I would be able to rely on my poor and beaten up memory. Tsk tsk.

Yes, I still jotted down all the (or most of) the food I have been eating. Hmmm, will get to that in a while. Let's jump dates.


Friday, 8

Printed stuff at Office Warehouse
Ended up cutting the invitations myself - my poor fingers.
*I tasted heaven

-----
L: ground beef and vegetables, lettuce wraps
S: yoh-gurt foz*
D: pasta


Saturday, 9

Met up with Ian today and we had a pretty good feast.

After which, the blood fairy paid me a visit and made my weekend unpleasantly emotional.

an excerpt from my journal

I hate this emotional roller-coaster
I hate feeling so vulnerable
It's like I have no shield to protect me

I am strong!
I should be
No more tears
they make me weak

I want you to listen

Gah. I can be surprisingly emotional.
Notice the rise in my food intake?
No internet.

-----
L: Chocolate Kiss Lasagna
S: Yoh-gurt foz, poptarts, chips
D: Lechon leftovers


Sunday, 10

was still vulnerable.

I tried to be numb.

-----
B: Pancake with syrup
L: Subway tuna melt, 2 chocolate chip cookies, rootbeer
S: Chippy, Nova

Monday, 11

2am: he knows me so well. he fixed everything, just like that. :)

buzzy buzzy bee. I stayed at the office til 12 with Charo.


-----
L: Lumpia
S: 1/2 slice Biko
D: cheeseburger with bacon



Tuesday, 12

was still tired. Maybe it showed because

the boss treated us to a foot spa at City Lifestyle. Whoo!!

-----
B: McHotcake Meal, Hasbrown, Coffee
S: 1/2 Banana Turon
D: Steak Sisig

Wednesday, 13

I almost threw up Ronald McDonald.

Stayed til 12am again. I'm getting so tired. I just wish that this party was over and done with already.

-----
B: McHotcake meal, Hashbrown, Coffee
L: McCheeseburger Meal
should be puking by now
D: juicy Cheeseburger with bacon

words for the night: Regurgitate and Burp!

Thursday, 14

Tad late for work again. The Christmas scrooge struck when I realized that I don't have any money to buy gifts for people this season. And here I thought that by working, I'd be able to earn more by the time Christmas came around.. Boy, did my bubble pop in my face!

Sometimes when you miss someone so much, you do impulsive things. I saw this pair of black havaianas in a store window and bought him a pair for no reason at all. And they fit him perfectly!

-----
B: Graham Crackers
L: Feast at LGV occular
D: pesto bread

Friday, 15

My Golden Apple Body Shop Body Butter!! I love the smell and it's not greasy. :) I've been eying this since I first saw it when December started. Now it's sitting nicely on my dresser and waits for me to take a shower every morning.



And who would have thought that these tiny creatures would find their way back into my palm?

I got my Tamagotchi V3 !! I'm giving one to my younger brother for Christmas (the only gift I've gotten so far) so I had an excuse to get one for myself so he has someone to play with. The Asian designs they had here weren't really that nice. I'm hoping I can find someone who's coming home in the next few months to pick me up a Tamagotchi V4 with a really great design. Yes, this is my current addiction that I can take with me anywhere.



Gee. 6 days till Christmas.


----------
The busiest time of the year

-----
B: pop-tart, banana
L: go go taco Caesar, chicken salad Caesar dressing
D: ground beef and lettuce wraps
-----

Let me tell you something. You know, when I sound concerned, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm concerned about me. So don't go and flip on me when I try to reason out with you. Sometimes you have to think of others as well! Don't be selfish, man!

-----
oh, grow up.

-----
L: Fried Rice, Sweet and Sour Pork, 2 strips Bacon
S: half a snickers bar
D: 5pcs chicken nuggets and McSpaghetti
-----

-----
B: 4 pcs kababayan bread muffin
L: Salad and Pork steak
D: Chinese. --will not disclose due to "Because-I-Can" reasons-- haha!
-----

oooh.. I can't wait. ;)

It's an hour to six.

He'll pick me up from the office.


<3

-----------
no dinner diet tonight

Talk about timing.

It isn't everyday that you get a letter from yourself a whole year ago. What I wrote to myself surprised me as if I knew exactly what to tell myself. Minus the little gasp I let out while opening my inbox, it was a pretty positive surprise. Unfortunately I can't shake it out of my head. Somehow it's stuck there like a cat in a high tree.

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Sunday, December 4, 2005, and sent via FutureMe.org)

Dear FutureMe,
By now you should have reached a certain goal in your life.. Ask yourself..

ARE YOU HAPPY?

Right now you are struggling to find something to make your life meaningful. have you found it yet?

you're struggling with your thesis now. look back and see if it made a difference in your life. and stop being so sentimental!!! :) hahaha!

love yourself

"It is in you i found freedom. Set me free."

Dont forget those who love you. You are celebrating your anniversary tomorrow with Dino. I hope it is special. :)

Exactly 1 year ago.

I SHOULD have reached a certain goal by now but most of them are little ones moving to bigger goals. One goal for sure is being updated daily, and that is my food intake to make sure I watch what I eat. But seriously, is that enough?

AM I HAPPY? I can't count the number of people who have asked me this question in the last 3 weeks. Who would have thought the three short words would make you stop and think about your current position in life. AM I HAPPY? Sure, everything is okay.. It's not depressing but it's not mesmerizing either. AM I HAPPY? Why, are you?

My thesis *laugh* The one thing I focused my whole year on. Yes I have seen the difference it has given impact to in my life. I have learned. The hundred plus pages of my dissertation helped me grow and realize that there ARE shortcuts in life that don’t have to be bad. Yes, I am proud of my thesis but I believe looking back at it now, one will never feel satisfaction. There is ALWAYS something better we could have done better. ALWAYS.

I do love myself. Do you?

and he still makes me feel free. :)

and I do feel loved.. sometimes. You can’t always feel loved. Ironically, too much love can send you to the looney bin. It can smother you and make you delusional. Love just enough to love yourself back.

and yes, we are celebrating another year together in a few hours. It’s weird how I passed by school today, where everything started between the two of us. The Christmas lights were up and the Paskuhan tree was lit. Every year, they light up to remind us how much we love each other.

-----------
and then I write myself again.

-----
L: 1 cup rice, adobo, 1/4 bowl pancit miso
S: 1 1/2 slice of butter cake and coke
D: 3 slices guava
-----

After that long tiring week, I decided that it was time to say goodbye to my stress and head for the spa. Luckily, a new one opened near the 7/11 in our area and was a 10 minute walk from my house. After I showered and dressed, I packed my book that my good friend Ian lent me ages ago, (the one by James Owen: Here, There be Dragons)

I finally got a good 3 hour read! The book has interesting characters and I couldn't help but analyze the illustrations in each chapter. I like Aven so far. She rocks.

The foot massage helped me relax while I sat in their big black soft chairs and sank into my imaginary world. The only dragons I've come across so far were the names of their boats. Boo. I will continue to read and hope that the travel will take me to more exciting places.

Pardon the photo. It's pretty raw and it was just taken from my handy camera phone. I HAD to capture the moment.

------------
I scolded myself today. No more lates and absents for the rest of the year!! shame on you.


[edit] I just realized.. I have no money left.. I haven't been able to save much for the holidays.. *sniff*

-----
B: pancake with syrup; 1 banana
L: 2 tacos ( lettuce, tomato, cheese, beef and hot sauce)
D: Plate of salad (same ingredients as last nights salad) and mini pork chop
-----

-----
B: 3pcs of bread
L: 1/2 cup rice, fish, guava slices, 1 pc pastel
D: i plate of salad with grapes and tomato(yummm)
-----

There used to be a popular site Friday Five that would post 5 things that you repost and answer on your blog. Unfortunately, they took it down last May 2004. *sad face* Alot of sites are dedicated to Friday blogs but I'm too lazy to search for a nice one. So instead, I decided to come up with my own 5 friday for today. Let's start with something simple. Suggestions are welcome!

Five Friday:
The five things I bought this week that meant something:

1. A High School Musical Lunch bag for my brother from McD. -- I originally wanted to buy it for myself, but I knew he would appreciate it more.
2. A pack of nerds -- the pink one (and i remembered paula!)
3. A tall Caramel Affogato -- I was able to donate my sticker to Kaye.
4. A pair of Mossimo jeans -- I finally got to trade in my Gift Certificate before it expired! It was a payment for Jam 88.3's paper bag design.
5. A roll of tissue -- The office is always out of tissue and it saved my day! hee. :)

-----
now, on with my work


-----
B: 1/2 ham sandwich
L: Skyflakes and hot tea
D: (@ peri peri chicken) 1/2 plate of ceasar salad, 1/2 chicken burger, sugar free fat free scoop of ice cream
Dd: tall Caramel Affogato
E: total of 15 minute brisk walk.
-----