information connections notes
11:24 PM | Sunday, January 21, 2007

i seriously need to revamp.

9:13 PM |
french tips

I think someone heard my insecurities yesterday and a miracle happened today.

My family (except for my surfing sister) ate out for lunch at Teriyaki Boy, Tomas Morato. For dessert, they finally decided to try out this frozen yogurt that I've been pushing them to try since last month. My dad loved it! (i <3 my dad)

Mom invited me to the spa where we sat at the steam room and just let ourselves perspire. I was in my two piece and decided to jump into the pool and let my heart get pumping. Well, At first it was difficult to do laps. But in the end, I did a lap where I didn't stop in the middle of the pool.

The massage was great.

Then we had our manicure pedicure at the parlor beside the spa. The girl was insisting to thread my virgin eyebrows. It hurt! But the output put a smile on the customer's teary-eyed face.
working on a script

11:51 PM | Saturday, January 20, 2007
i used to love mirrors

I don't understand this "need" to be thin.

Years ago, women with curves were considered real. If I lived in those days, I would probably have a statue of myself with all my curves hanging out and no one would give a shit if I have one curve larger than the others.

What I do understand if the hate and disgust I feel when I look into my new full length body mirror. When I raise my arms, my skin sort of stretches making my body seem a bit slimmer. Also, I've gotten used to walking around while holding my stomach in, to make myself seem less unflattering.

People used to say I was fat years ago. I never really saw myself as fat back then since I was only in high school and being fat wasn't a big issue back then. Now, when I pull out the old pictures, people react and repeatedly insist how thin I was back then. And here I thought I was fat to them before. I must be a whale of a person by now.

People who know me and actually read this certain post may be thinking that I'm pitying myself and that I may be "fishing" for comments. This is all real people. My insecurity decided to visit me today, making sure I stayed in my room because gosh no, we wouldn't want to be seen in public with my unflattering figure, AND avoid putting on my clothes trying to see which ones still fit.

I don't want to turn into one of those pill-digesting addicts who actually want my ribs to pop out, but I can't deny that that thought has crossed my mind.

Sure, exercise, eat right, drink water.. it's easier said than done. With my schedule and budget I can't afford to take better care of myself. Eat less, walk more, live healthy.. yes I'd love to.. I'm trying.

My optimistic self says that I can do this and I can achieve anything.

My pessimistic self says dream on.

8:17 PM | Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Horribly lazy at the moment.
Still hungover from work.
Will revamp and start my daily blogs again
by Monday perhaps?
Watched Eragon.
Loved Saphira
without the feathers.

I should go before I post any more nonsense.

  • December 2003
  • January 2004
  • February 2004
  • March 2004
  • April 2004
  • May 2004
  • June 2004
  • July 2004
  • August 2004
  • September 2004
  • October 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • October 2005
  • December 2005
  • February 2006
  • July 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • December 2007

    conversations over coffee