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10:05 PM | Monday, December 04, 2006
Dear Future Me

Talk about timing.

It isn't everyday that you get a letter from yourself a whole year ago. What I wrote to myself surprised me as if I knew exactly what to tell myself. Minus the little gasp I let out while opening my inbox, it was a pretty positive surprise. Unfortunately I can't shake it out of my head. Somehow it's stuck there like a cat in a high tree.

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Sunday, December 4, 2005, and sent via

Dear FutureMe,
By now you should have reached a certain goal in your life.. Ask yourself..


Right now you are struggling to find something to make your life meaningful. have you found it yet?

you're struggling with your thesis now. look back and see if it made a difference in your life. and stop being so sentimental!!! :) hahaha!

love yourself

"It is in you i found freedom. Set me free."

Dont forget those who love you. You are celebrating your anniversary tomorrow with Dino. I hope it is special. :)

Exactly 1 year ago.

I SHOULD have reached a certain goal by now but most of them are little ones moving to bigger goals. One goal for sure is being updated daily, and that is my food intake to make sure I watch what I eat. But seriously, is that enough?

AM I HAPPY? I can't count the number of people who have asked me this question in the last 3 weeks. Who would have thought the three short words would make you stop and think about your current position in life. AM I HAPPY? Sure, everything is okay.. It's not depressing but it's not mesmerizing either. AM I HAPPY? Why, are you?

My thesis *laugh* The one thing I focused my whole year on. Yes I have seen the difference it has given impact to in my life. I have learned. The hundred plus pages of my dissertation helped me grow and realize that there ARE shortcuts in life that don’t have to be bad. Yes, I am proud of my thesis but I believe looking back at it now, one will never feel satisfaction. There is ALWAYS something better we could have done better. ALWAYS.

I do love myself. Do you?

and he still makes me feel free. :)

and I do feel loved.. sometimes. You can’t always feel loved. Ironically, too much love can send you to the looney bin. It can smother you and make you delusional. Love just enough to love yourself back.

and yes, we are celebrating another year together in a few hours. It’s weird how I passed by school today, where everything started between the two of us. The Christmas lights were up and the Paskuhan tree was lit. Every year, they light up to remind us how much we love each other.

and then I write myself again.

  • December 2003
  • January 2004
  • February 2004
  • March 2004
  • April 2004
  • May 2004
  • June 2004
  • July 2004
  • August 2004
  • September 2004
  • October 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • October 2005
  • December 2005
  • February 2006
  • July 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • December 2007

    conversations over coffee