on hiatus

I guess it's official now.


Changes happen all the time. A change of weather. A change of money. A change of clothes. A change of lifestyle. A change of taste. A change of habits. A change of scenery.

But what happens when all that occurs simultaneously?

Last week, my family got that wake up call.

I’ve never really been hesitant about change, knowing that “the greater the risk you take, the bigger the rewards are”. Although there are times that the changes are just a little too big to swallow all at once.

Our Canadian Visas will be issued in the next few weeks.


According to the embassy, we only have a year from the date of our medical exam (February 05, 2007) to stay in this country and fly off to theirs. My parents are leaving sometime around August 17, 2007 with my brother so he can start school in September. My sister and I have decided that we are brave enough to live on our own and stay until February 01, 2008.

It all seems too soon.

I’m thankful that my family is supportive of my decision to stay behind first. They’re selling 84 Small Horseshoe in December, so at least my sister and I have a place to crash until Christmas. Our pad will be dreadfully empty as we are selling everything by July. (any buyers?)

Fortunately I’ll be able to keep my computer, my bed, and my clothes. As for the TV cable, we’ll figure something out, as well as our neighborhood friendly wifi connections.

Honestly, my sister and I are uneasy as we have been coddled most of our lives. This is a big step for us and it’s a challenge I’m willing to take. Thank you to Dino for supporting me and helping me figure out some things.

As I have learned, it’s best to live one day at a time. You get to savor each day and let go of the worries that tomorrow may bring.

I’m not a hypocrite, I am scared too. I can’t imagine giving up this Filipino lifestyle that I’ve become accustomed to. Picking up everything and leaving all my friends is difficult. I’m aware people have done this numerous times but I am also knowledgeable of the stories they have to share. Each life is lived differently, and I guess it’s time that I embrace the change.

I just need time.

under construction

my life is not worth sharing at the moment

everyday i try to come up with something to share

but i can't form the words

i just see pictures

and feel emotions

and i want more time for me



i want to feel accomplished




the popular topic of the month, heart's day.

can't they look around and realize all the pain they're causing people?

this world

lacks

love.


and a month celebrating love

results in broken hearts

broken wallets

and broken dreams



is it worth all that?

or is my bitter self talking?

i seriously need to revamp.

I think someone heard my insecurities yesterday and a miracle happened today.

My family (except for my surfing sister) ate out for lunch at Teriyaki Boy, Tomas Morato. For dessert, they finally decided to try out this frozen yogurt that I've been pushing them to try since last month. My dad loved it! (i <3 my dad)

Mom invited me to the spa where we sat at the steam room and just let ourselves perspire. I was in my two piece and decided to jump into the pool and let my heart get pumping. Well, At first it was difficult to do laps. But in the end, I did a lap where I didn't stop in the middle of the pool.

The massage was great.

Then we had our manicure pedicure at the parlor beside the spa. The girl was insisting to thread my virgin eyebrows. It hurt! But the output put a smile on the customer's teary-eyed face.
-----
working on a script

I don't understand this "need" to be thin.

Years ago, women with curves were considered real. If I lived in those days, I would probably have a statue of myself with all my curves hanging out and no one would give a shit if I have one curve larger than the others.

What I do understand if the hate and disgust I feel when I look into my new full length body mirror. When I raise my arms, my skin sort of stretches making my body seem a bit slimmer. Also, I've gotten used to walking around while holding my stomach in, to make myself seem less unflattering.

People used to say I was fat years ago. I never really saw myself as fat back then since I was only in high school and being fat wasn't a big issue back then. Now, when I pull out the old pictures, people react and repeatedly insist how thin I was back then. And here I thought I was fat to them before. I must be a whale of a person by now.

People who know me and actually read this certain post may be thinking that I'm pitying myself and that I may be "fishing" for comments. This is all real people. My insecurity decided to visit me today, making sure I stayed in my room because gosh no, we wouldn't want to be seen in public with my unflattering figure, AND avoid putting on my clothes trying to see which ones still fit.

I don't want to turn into one of those pill-digesting addicts who actually want my ribs to pop out, but I can't deny that that thought has crossed my mind.

Sure, exercise, eat right, drink water.. it's easier said than done. With my schedule and budget I can't afford to take better care of myself. Eat less, walk more, live healthy.. yes I'd love to.. I'm trying.

My optimistic self says that I can do this and I can achieve anything.

My pessimistic self says dream on.

Horribly lazy at the moment.
Still hungover from work.
Will revamp and start my daily blogs again
by Monday perhaps?
Watched Eragon.
Slightly
disappointed.
Loved Saphira
without the feathers.

I should go before I post any more nonsense.

-----
Every year we are given the chance to start anew, in hopes of becoming a better person and to lead a more fulfilling life. I wish you to have a prosperous new year!

Labels: new year

on hiatus

I guess it's official now.


Changes happen all the time. A change of weather. A change of money. A change of clothes. A change of lifestyle. A change of taste. A change of habits. A change of scenery.

But what happens when all that occurs simultaneously?

Last week, my family got that wake up call.

I’ve never really been hesitant about change, knowing that “the greater the risk you take, the bigger the rewards are”. Although there are times that the changes are just a little too big to swallow all at once.

Our Canadian Visas will be issued in the next few weeks.


According to the embassy, we only have a year from the date of our medical exam (February 05, 2007) to stay in this country and fly off to theirs. My parents are leaving sometime around August 17, 2007 with my brother so he can start school in September. My sister and I have decided that we are brave enough to live on our own and stay until February 01, 2008.

It all seems too soon.

I’m thankful that my family is supportive of my decision to stay behind first. They’re selling 84 Small Horseshoe in December, so at least my sister and I have a place to crash until Christmas. Our pad will be dreadfully empty as we are selling everything by July. (any buyers?)

Fortunately I’ll be able to keep my computer, my bed, and my clothes. As for the TV cable, we’ll figure something out, as well as our neighborhood friendly wifi connections.

Honestly, my sister and I are uneasy as we have been coddled most of our lives. This is a big step for us and it’s a challenge I’m willing to take. Thank you to Dino for supporting me and helping me figure out some things.

As I have learned, it’s best to live one day at a time. You get to savor each day and let go of the worries that tomorrow may bring.

I’m not a hypocrite, I am scared too. I can’t imagine giving up this Filipino lifestyle that I’ve become accustomed to. Picking up everything and leaving all my friends is difficult. I’m aware people have done this numerous times but I am also knowledgeable of the stories they have to share. Each life is lived differently, and I guess it’s time that I embrace the change.

I just need time.

under construction

my life is not worth sharing at the moment

everyday i try to come up with something to share

but i can't form the words

i just see pictures

and feel emotions

and i want more time for me



i want to feel accomplished




the popular topic of the month, heart's day.

can't they look around and realize all the pain they're causing people?

this world

lacks

love.


and a month celebrating love

results in broken hearts

broken wallets

and broken dreams



is it worth all that?

or is my bitter self talking?

i seriously need to revamp.

I think someone heard my insecurities yesterday and a miracle happened today.

My family (except for my surfing sister) ate out for lunch at Teriyaki Boy, Tomas Morato. For dessert, they finally decided to try out this frozen yogurt that I've been pushing them to try since last month. My dad loved it! (i <3 my dad)

Mom invited me to the spa where we sat at the steam room and just let ourselves perspire. I was in my two piece and decided to jump into the pool and let my heart get pumping. Well, At first it was difficult to do laps. But in the end, I did a lap where I didn't stop in the middle of the pool.

The massage was great.

Then we had our manicure pedicure at the parlor beside the spa. The girl was insisting to thread my virgin eyebrows. It hurt! But the output put a smile on the customer's teary-eyed face.
-----
working on a script

I don't understand this "need" to be thin.

Years ago, women with curves were considered real. If I lived in those days, I would probably have a statue of myself with all my curves hanging out and no one would give a shit if I have one curve larger than the others.

What I do understand if the hate and disgust I feel when I look into my new full length body mirror. When I raise my arms, my skin sort of stretches making my body seem a bit slimmer. Also, I've gotten used to walking around while holding my stomach in, to make myself seem less unflattering.

People used to say I was fat years ago. I never really saw myself as fat back then since I was only in high school and being fat wasn't a big issue back then. Now, when I pull out the old pictures, people react and repeatedly insist how thin I was back then. And here I thought I was fat to them before. I must be a whale of a person by now.

People who know me and actually read this certain post may be thinking that I'm pitying myself and that I may be "fishing" for comments. This is all real people. My insecurity decided to visit me today, making sure I stayed in my room because gosh no, we wouldn't want to be seen in public with my unflattering figure, AND avoid putting on my clothes trying to see which ones still fit.

I don't want to turn into one of those pill-digesting addicts who actually want my ribs to pop out, but I can't deny that that thought has crossed my mind.

Sure, exercise, eat right, drink water.. it's easier said than done. With my schedule and budget I can't afford to take better care of myself. Eat less, walk more, live healthy.. yes I'd love to.. I'm trying.

My optimistic self says that I can do this and I can achieve anything.

My pessimistic self says dream on.

Horribly lazy at the moment.
Still hungover from work.
Will revamp and start my daily blogs again
by Monday perhaps?
Watched Eragon.
Slightly
disappointed.
Loved Saphira
without the feathers.

I should go before I post any more nonsense.

-----
Every year we are given the chance to start anew, in hopes of becoming a better person and to lead a more fulfilling life. I wish you to have a prosperous new year!

Labels: new year